Hijacked Joy

I wanted to prove her wrong. Christ is joy, she told me, rebuking my foul attitude. I objected. Look it up, she said, Search scripture.

Annoyed, I did. I scorned joy because I did not have it, and as such I did not want to be found without Christ.

All I could think was, the joy set before Him.

Matthew. Mark. Luke. John. I am winning. Acts. Romans. Google.

I found it. Hebrews 12:1-2.

I returned to my search, a robot combing through data while streams of living water coursed through my head. In my self-focused pursuit to prove her wrong I forgot a fundamental truth.

God’s word does not return void.

My stubbornly sullen, world-weary, hardened heart tried to resist.

Christ endured the cross because of the joy it would bring.

I sat there, persistent in my pathetic refusal of joy He won for me.

I returned to my search results, tried to numb the joint-and-marrow splitting word of God. I glazed over Hebrews only to be jerked to a halt by the results for James.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds...

The attitude of my heart implied that the joy Christ sets before me is not worth the endurance of (momentary, light) present trials.

My heart began to yield to the life-giving word of God. I finished looking at the search results, but I no longer cared about them.

... let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us...
The sin of my impatience had hijacked the joy set before me. Impatience kept me fixated on an uncertain future and created frustration. But God does not command us to run the race with our eyes fixed on a future beyond our control. We are to run looking unto Jesus. He alone is the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God...

My heart relented, and I repented.

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven

and do not return there but water the earth,

making it bring forth and sprout,

giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;

it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,

and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

For you shall go out in joy

and be led forth in peace...

Isaiah 55:10-12

Shakespeare

Perspective

The household of those who do not live by faith chases an earthly peace consisting of the affairs and advantages of this temporal life. - Augustine, City of God.

It is so easy to become obsessed with the pursuit of an earthly peace. I try to micromanage my earthly affairs in an attempt to fulfill the dreams God has placed on my heart.  But in vain I have struggled to secure temporal peace for my eternal soul.

It is painful to chase the ever-elusive earthly peace. Success is infrequent, fleeting, and uncertain. I am left weary, longing, unfulfilled. 

Augustine was a wise man. He understood that the Christian life is not constrained to achievement here on earth.

The household of human being living by faith, on the other hand, looks forward to the future, to those things which are promised as eternal, and makes use of temporal and earthly things like a traveler.

I must remind myself that the achievement of temporal and earthly things is not the end. Such things are merely a mean. They are tools to be used for God's glory. As such, a perspective limited to the temporal only robs me of the hope found in "an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading." (1 Peter 1:4)

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth ~ Colossians 3:2

Brown Paper Packages

Brown paper packages, tied up with string

These are a few of my favorite things...

 I love the contrast of the red plaid and the fresh greens.

I loved the simplicity of this little wreath but making it was a bit tricky.

Close-up of the wreath. One of my favorite pictures.

Christmas Presents

For all of the fruitless time I've spent on Pinterest, I finally have something to show for it. I was inspired by all the cute pictures I saw of brown paper packages and decided to make my own. More pictures to follow!

Your Steadfast Love...

...is great above the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the skies." - Psalm 108:4

Free to Love

A discussion has been brewing on campus. A discussion of broken hearts, healed hearts, and redeemed hearts. Hearts that are not afraid to love. The wise words of C.S. Lewis have often been quoted, one of my favorite quotes of all time.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

If You Love Me...

I watched the documentary Forks Over Knives this past weekend. The basic conclusion of the documentary is that animal foods are detrimental to the human body. My family is mostly vegetarian and I have read The China Study, so a lot of the information was familiar.

The data is solid and compelling. I believe it. So why did I enjoy chicken and sour cream along with my beans, salsa, rice and lettuce tonight? Why did I just eat a mini Hershey's bar?

Because I like the way chicken and sour cream taste. And yes, I even like milk chocolate.

You see, the crux of this issue isn't really about what I eat. It's about why I eat what I eat. And it's about my sin.

Yes, my sin.

You see, every time I've tried to change to a healthier diet, it's been for vain, selfish reasons. That's why it's never stuck. I've been trying to deny my flesh for fleshly motives, and a house divided cannot stand.

But the real reason I should eat healthy foods has to do with me. The real reason is that if I want to serve Jesus with my body, I need to take care of it. And if I really believe that a vegan diet is the healthiest diet, then I should be vegan.

Simple, right? Uh, no. I kinda drool at the thought of bacon, chicken tenders dipped in ranch dressing, and moose tracks ice cream. So I give in to the temptation on a regular basis.


"So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him that is sin." ~ James 4:17

Ouch. How long have I known the right thing to do but not done it? How incredibly pitiful is my self-control! But it gets worse.

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments." ~ John 14:15

I say I want to serve Christ wholeheartedly. But how can I expect to do great things for Him if I can't deny myself the ice cream cone, or the chicken tenders with ranch? How horribly selfish and shallow of me to place my own temporal pleasure over the importance of serving the One who ransomed me from the very pits of Hell.

[Edit] I am not trying to say it is sinful to eat an animal-based diet. Look at the last five words of James 4:17- "For him that is sin." If the Lord has not convicted you about your diet, then by all means exercise your sanctified common sense and Christian liberty. :)

Now I know Jesus never said, "Thou shalt not eat animals." In fact, Jesus Himself ate animals.

But that's not the point. The point is that in this day and age, the healthiest possible diet is animal-free, and very low in sugar, refined flours, and oil.

As a Christ-follower and as an athlete, don't I have a responsibility to eat healthy? Yes.  But I now realize I can't do this on my own.

My friend Sarah has agreed to be my accountability partner. Starting this Sunday she and I will eat completely vegan until Thanksgiving- that's 10 days. It's not yet set in stone that I'll stay vegan, but I think the best way to see if it is reasonable is to give it a try. By God's grace, we will not fail!

Shortcomings

Have you ever read something that perfectly expresses the jumbled thoughts and feelings that you haven’t been able to articulate?

I read a prayer in The Valley of Vision a few days ago that resonated so deeply it left me speechless, even thought-less for a few moments. 


Even as I read it now I am convicted and humbled. It exposes the sin in my heart that I hadn't seen. It reminds me of the beauty of grace and the solid hope of the Gospel.

I pray that God will use these mere human words to stir your soul.  

Shortcomings

O Living God,

I  bless Thee

      that I see the worst of my heart as well as the best of it,

      that I can sorrow for those sins that carry me from Thee,

      that it is Thy deep and dear mercy to threaten punishment 

      so that I may return, pray, live.

My sin is to look on my faults and be discouraged,

   or to look on my good and be puffed up.

I fall short of thy glory every day by spending

     hours unprofitably,

   by thinking that the things I do are good,

     when they are not done to Thy end,

     nor spring from the rules of Thy Word.

My sin is to fear what never will be;

I forget to submit to Thy will, and fail to be quiet there.

But Scripture teaches me that Thy active will

   reveals a steadfast purpose on my behalf,

   and this quietens my soul,

   and makes me love Thee.

Keep me always in the understanding

   that saints mourn more for sin than other men,

   for when they see how great is Thy wrath against sin,

   and how Christ’s death alone pacifies that wrath,

   that makes them mourn the more.

Help me to see that although I am in the wilderness

   it is not all briars and barrenness.

I have bread from heaven, streams from the rock,

   light by day, fire by night,

   Thy dwelling place and Thy mercy seat.

I am sometimes discouraged by the way,

   but though winding and trying it is safe and short;

Death dismays me, but my great high priest

   stands in its waters,

   and will open me a passage,

   and beyond is a better country.

While I live let my life be exemplary,

When I die may my end be peace.

Vain Idols

Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love. -Jonah 2:8

This verse practically jumped off the page at me when I read it in church this morning.

This is me, I thought. Convicted, I made a list of the things in my life that I have set up as vain idols. I am ashamed by how many things cause me to forsake my hope of God's steadfast love.

I pondered how to best attack the vain idols and realized that the answer lies in the following verse of Jonah's prayer.

But I with the voice of thanksgiving will sacrifice to You;
What I have vowed I will pay. Salvation belongs to the Lord!”

I pray that the Lord will give me the resolve to deny myself, to sacrifice my selfishness for His glory, and I pray for strength to depose the vain idols that keep me from His steadfast love.